Apple Foot

Recently Misinterpreted

What the database record said: "High Plain Elementary [School]"

What I read: "High Pain Elementary"

Which is silly, since everyone knows that "high pain" is junior high.

Long ago misinterpreted

When I was in fifth grade or so, one of the local channels ran "Battle of the Planets" after school. I loved it, though God alone knows why.

The token female on the superhero team was called--I kid you not--Princess. All the kids were supposed to be costumed like some kind of bird, and she was the swan.

Thank god for the web, with its infinite knowledge of anime, because otherwise I'd've gone to my grave believing she was a duck.

Recently Misinterpreted: Non-Verbal Edition

Bertucci's had a new scallops and spaghetti dish I tried a couple nights ago. Since it was hot when it got to the table, I figured I'd start with a small scallop, less likely to scorch my mouth.

The scallop was... pasty, granular almost. Entirely the wrong texture. And while the taste wasn't foul, it was definitely not in the least scallop-y.

I'm thinking, oh, shit, the scallops have gone completely bad! I'm already trying to figure out the best way to call this to the server's attention, and I'm trying to decide if I should pro-actively vomit the small bit I've already eaten so as to prevent food poisoning, when I realize:

that was a roasted garlic clove.

Recently misinterpreted

Subject line on spam: "(Make love not war) ezx"

What I read: "Make love not ear wax"

Recently Misinterpreted: Too Much Sci Fi

From a story about a sinkhole in Dorchester:

What it said: "State police say eastbound traffic on Gallivan Boulevard will be restricted..."

What I saw: "State police say EARTHBOUND traffic on Gallivan Boulevard will be restricted..."

Recently Misinterpreted (Condescending Bitch Division)

What the sign said: "Please make sure door closes completely."

What I read: "Please make sure door clothes completely."

What I thought: "Ha! I bet they meant to write 'closes'!"      Oh.

Recently Misinterpreted: Written Word Division

From a Reuters story (via Yahoo!) about a correlation between lack of sleep and cardiovascular disease (you can see why I stopped to read that):

"Previous research has highlighted the potential health risks of shift work and disrupted sleep. But the study by Cappuccio and colleagues..."

What I read: "...the study by Cappuccino..."

What I thought: "Weird. Why did the coffee industry fund a study arguing for better sleep?"

Recently Misinterpreted

What was said: "She [the property manager for a recreational facility for children] hasn't got her weed whacker yet."

What I heard: "She hasn't got her weed back yet."